I hate being wrong.
Such a shame it happens SO often.
You’d think I’d be used to it by now, but it still stings!
When I posted a video recently on Facebook of how I used a ring sling at church to make life easier, I wasn’t really trying to teach anything, but I was planning on making some teaching videos (and had some from three years ago that I had just never gotten around to posting, even though they were edited and ready to go).
I’m not really going to bother any more.
I Got a Degree from Google
In a world where everyone online acts like an expert, there are true experts coming out and finding us rookies and putting us in our places.
And like I said, no matter how gentle and loving the correction, it still stings a little bit.
When I got an email from a concerned babywearing expert who had caught my video, I felt beaten down.
She said I had demonstrated an unsafe hold and didn’t want me to teach incorrect methods or draw undue negative attention in the tenuous political climate surrounding babywearing in our culture.
I didn’t even know the government was scrutinizing babywearing.
But I definitely felt scrutinized.
And I deserved it.
It’s been ten years since I read anything about babywearing, and it really isn’t the kind of thing I should be making up on my own.
So I spent an hour doing research and watching others’ videos and learning about the TICKS safe carry acronym and safe positioning in the ring sling.
And I’m a humbler bumble.
Check out this old photo of my first baby, aptly titled on my computer “hanging out in the kitchen in a ring sling:”
Ay yi yi.
I’m checking my inbox now for the tirades.
As much as I love self-deprecating photos, especially the icky crackers and O cereal on the counter ten years ago, that’s not really what I wanted to talk about today.
I admit that I didn’t know the first thing about safe carries in a sling, at least in that picture. (Now I know the first thing but apparently not the second, third or fourth. At least I get a gold star for improvement! My excuse is just that I had outdated information – this is totally where I learned from, and it’s still recommended on that site. Like many medical professionals, it seems Dr. Sears, like me, has forgotten to keep up with current safer trends.)
But I can’t always be wrong, right?
Turns out I have a little beef with some of the other trains of thought I discovered in my babywearing wanderings through the web last week.
I Still Think I’m Right About This
I always told people one of the reasons I loved babywearing was how I could allow my baby to interact with the world.
I liked that they could see people’s faces and hear adult conversation; in fact, many times I surmised that one reason my oldest was so verbally precocious (and remains that way as a fourth grader with a seventh grade reading level) was because he was part of that adult world so early, so often, and so verbally. I was constantly explaining to him what I was doing, and he could see it all.
I had no idea there was controversy about that.
I’ve learned that many babywearing folks strongly believe that babies and older children should only be worn facing the parent, never facing out.
There is a very valid argument, and one I’ve quoted for a decade, that front carry packs that cause a baby to hang, putting all the pressure of their body weight on their pelvis, are very bad for baby’s hip development. It’s call hip dysplasia, and I cringe when I see babies dangling in front of their mommies or daddies.
But that’s not why some in the babywearing community think forward-facing carries are a no-no, even in an ergonomically correct carrier.
They think that if the baby is facing the world and cannot have the option of turning his head into the parent to block out all the commotion, that it’s unfairly overstimulating, and actually harmful. (sources: 1, 2, 3, 4)
I’m just not in that camp.
I’m super passionate about babywearing and will tell anyone that they should get a sling, wrap, or carrier (that properly positions baby’s hips), but my reasons go way beyond just “bonding.”
5 Reasons I {Heart} Babywearing – Even if Other People Disagree!
1. Babywearing is practical. It allows parents to get something done with their hands without a needy infant crying (or needy toddler for that matter!). Research says babies aren’t able to manipulate parents (at least until 6 mos. but likely more like 12-18), that their wants and needs are the same. If they want to be held, it’s a need parents should be fulfilling. But that doesn’t mean nothing should get cooked or cleaned!
2. It’s a great way to shop and be out and about without juggling strollers and cumbersome infant carseats. Again, practical, but not as its primary or singular purpose.
3. Babywearing fills a need and promotes closeness. Yep, that’s called bonding, and it’s a fantastic reason for babywearing. But I just don’t buy that it’s the only reason people should do it.
4. Babywearing generally promotes happier babies, less crying, and thus more content parents. It’s very calming for all parties involved, whether at home or out and about. (source)
5. Babywearing helps children learn. I bet I read just this article ten years ago, and I can’t imagine that it’s not true, whether it’s the current popular train of thought or not – when a baby is near their parents, interacting, seeing others’ faces, listening to conversation, rather than just being set down in a bouncy chair, they’re learning valuable interpersonal skills.
Sure, exploring toys and having tummy time and all that physical manipulation of their world is very important too and is vital to learning how to be a human being, but there’s room for a balance of both, which naturally shifts more toward baby manipulating their own world as they get older (and heavier) and attain skills like sitting up independently.
And if the doesn’t want to see the world anymore, they just fall asleep.
Is Babywearing More for the Baby or the Parent?
It’s both, of course – but I don’t think we need to feel selfish if we just want to cook dinner, put some things away, or, God forbid, go to the bathroom without a child screaming in the background.
It’s okay to love babywearing because it’s convenient for you, mamas.
It’s okay to embrace a sling, wrap, or ergonomic carrier so that life can continue moving, because it’s a win-win.
Unlike plopping baby down in a swing or in front of a screen, where quality of learning is questionable, you can be productive while bonding with and teaching your baby, just by being you.
You don’t have to stress out about every word, every interaction – because there are more interactions, more words in general, and your baby is watching everything and learning about the world from a perspective equal to that of an astronaut studying Earth for the first time from space.
Mamas, if you’re one of those who says, “But my baby just doesn’t like to be worn!” this babywearing tips post (with a video!) is for you!
Babywearing Resources
- My videos: How to put on and wear a baby in a Moby Wrap
- Make or purchase a ring sling like the one in the pics at Sleeping Baby.
Disclosure: Those are affiliate links to the carriers, but I hope it helps you find the best price. Check secondhand options too, just make sure you don’t get one that’s so old it’s unsafe or recalled.
Original article and pictures take www.kitchenstewardship.com site
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