As a first-time mom, everything was new to me. The hormones, the feelings, and all the good and bad my husband and I went through during the first four to five months of pregnancy was such an incredible experience. Although I had a rough first half that was full of morning sickness and some dark days (more on that below), when I look back on the first 20 weeks of pregnancy, I feel like they flew by! Funny how that happens.
Now that there are less than two months to go, I’m reflecting on what I learned the first half of pregnancy… which was a lot.
1. The biology of it all blew me away.
Wait, you mean there is a human growing in my belly? Whoa. The science of how a baby develops from smaller than a poppy seed to bigger than a melon, all while inside of another human being, is simply mind-blowing. It was just incredible to read about the growth going on inside of me, and wonder in awe about how this was all happening.
2. The gratitude and fear were overwhelming.
When I found out I was pregnant and every day since, I have been both overwhelmed with gratitude that we were able to get pregnant and fear that we are going to be parents – PARENTS – to a real-life child. What?!!
It’s exhilarating and nerve-racking all at one time. I was scared of hurting the baby somehow, and was terrified of miscarriage. And thoughts about the whole labor process? Yikes. Certainly a bit scary, and made even more intense by hormones. Oh, the hormones. You feel alllll the feelings, my friends.
3. I have a newfound respect and appreciation for my body.
Along the same lines of #1 and #2, I am forever grateful that my body, one that at times I have mistrusted and hated, was creating this little guy. As I wrote on my blog, after years of severe, chronic health problems, multiple hormone treatments, trying what felt like every supplement and dietary change out there, experiencing flare-ups and bumps in the road, and not knowing when or if I’d be able to get pregnant, I was over the moon. I was proud, mystified, and thankful for my body and all that it was doing to create our baby bump.
This isn’t talked about nearly enough, but prenatal depression, blues, or whatever you want to call it is real and experienced by many, many women. It’s hard to express what it felt like, especially as I would never want to diminish the gratitude and excitement I had felt to be pregnant (see #1 – #3), but there were certainly some hard times.
For much of the first few months, I felt like I was living in a fog. I just wanted to sleep, and felt hopeless that I’d ever feel like myself again. It reminded me of when I had been so sick, so many years ago, which was scary and sad. It was confusing – how could I feel so happy to be pregnant, but so down in the dumps? The fatigue was consuming, I had no appetite, and I had lost my lust for life. It was also a strange conundrum as we weren’t telling a lot of people that I was pregnant yet. On top of everything, I was also concerned about ‘not being on top of my game’ and how I was being perceived by my colleagues, and others who didn’t know yet.
Luckily, at about 16 weeks, I started to feel better, and by 20 weeks, I was consistently feeling back to myself, and felt the sadness/hopelessness lift for good. If you’re going through the same thing, don’t hesitate to tell someone – your doctor, partner, friend, etc. – and get help. I remember talking to my husband about it a lot. Having his support throughout those dark days was crucial, and taught me a lot about our marriage and the amazing man I married.
5. A support system is critical.
Whether your pregnancy is easy or hard, leaning on others is so helpful. I don’t know what I would have done without my hubby who took over all house and puppy duties so I could sleep, and my parents who made it through Thanksgiving and Christmas with me as a shell of myself, and did everything they could to help me feel better… including three trips in one day to the drug store to get me sea bands and other nausea relief. They say it takes a village to raise a baby, but I’ll add that it takes a village to support mamas-to-be before the baby even arrives!
6. I am stronger than I think.
I look back on the first half of pregnancy and realize that I am so much stronger than I thought! Similar to #3, I learned that I actually am very resilient, and don’t give my body nearly enough credit. Cooking up a baby is hard work, and I needed to have faith in my body and the strength that I developed throughout those hard months.
7. An 8:00 bedtime is perfectly acceptable.
So, back to that whole ‘my body is a baby oven’ thing… our bodies go through a million changes in pregnancy, and we need to do what we can to take care of ourselves. For me, that meant I couldn’t keep my eyes open past 8:00, so I’d accept it and go to bed. Fortunately, I could because I had help (see #5 above), but I learned that I had to do what I had to do to make this baby! I also realized that saying no to things is a-okay, and that not going to the gym, eating perfectly, or sticking to my usual self-care routines was not the end of the world.
8. The baby’s first movements make it all real.
Those first few weeks of feeling kicks, especially the first time I felt the baby move, are magical. Every somersault, jab, kick, and hiccup is a joyous reminder of what’s happening in your body. All of the experiences, feelings, and lessons of pregnancy come together in those surreal moments when you feel your baby move inside you. It all becomes real, and the gratitude just flows and flows.
What an amazing journey it’s been, and will continue to be once this little one arrives. I cannot wait to meet him!
Alexandra Maul, MPH is a health educator, writer, and coach. After experiencing debilitating chronic health issues and learning how to heal, she created Made to Glow, an interactive community and healthy living guide that educates and inspires others around healthy eating, self-care practices, and non-toxic living. Alex is passionate about empowering others to feel their best, and loves to share kitchen tips, naturally gluten-free and dairy-free recipes, relaxation and fitness suggestions, and ways to live lean, clean, and green. Connect with Alex on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest.
When we feel whole, balanced, and healthy, we radiate from the inside out. We are all made to glow!
Original article and pictures take redandhoney.com site
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